Another month down and not just any: June, the halfway point! Shouldn’t I be all zen like, a lotus of tranquility, strong, buff and radiating yogic energy..? Maybe not!
“When we saw you, we thought, if that’s what doing Bikram Yoga everyday does to you, we don’t want a part of it!” Harsh words spoken more than once in the last few months, but I have to laugh, as I feel and see it in the mirror too. I’m worn out. One day it’s mental, the next physical, and lately it’s both. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I’m soaring with the clouds or floating in an ocean of relaxation. But lately these are few and far between.
But it’s an experiment too, this challenge. Bikram says, it’s a daily practice and I totally subscribe to that train of thought, but right now, I kinda feel like a break. As I rode to the studio one day in Luzern, I felt I was on the way to work! Haha, that was when I knew I’d hit new lows! During class, as I lay in Savasana, I was sprawled elsewhere, in a savanna being mauled by the beasts of pain, desperation and exhaustion. I knew I was losing it but before I could reel in my racing breath, thumping heart, and crushed will, I cried out in silence: “I’ve had enough.. I want a day off.. I need it.. just one day and I’ll be ok”.
I feel my practice has deteriorated and I’m sure the new progress pics will show this (I was even too tired to take them after class today). I feel slack, as if I just didn’t put the effort in last month and when I’m low, the good ol’ Catholic guilt kicks in: mind bashing me with not documenting the journey enough, not writing enough, “where’s the freakin video, Matt?!”
“Who are you doing this for anyway?” Aleksandra asked me on my last night in Luzern. Hmm good point. Time to reflect, regroup, regetoffmyass! Back to square one. Start again. What have I gained, what have I lost, and what do I want to do differently?
Giving up is not an option! Stay tuned folks, this month is going to be a killer.. whoo, yeah, pumped!!
Sonja’s good friend, Ruth Ott, Leiterin Personal (HR Manager) for Pilatus-Bahnen offered to take Sonja, Julie and I on a complimentary tour! After a breakfast of coffee and croissants we climbed aboard our little red bubble for the gentle gondola ride upwards through a luscious nature corridor; a serenade of Alp horns announcing our arrival at Frakmuntegg (1460m). We quickly rigging up with a safety harnesses to make our way through central Switzerland’s largest suspension rope challenge. We climbed and swung our way through the more moderate obstacles before tackling the hardest course: an exhilarating exercise of balance, strength and fear suppression, leaving muscles quivering at the thought of our looming 4pm Bikram class.
Feeling a little rubbery, we continued via arial cable-way to the summit. Drawn to the edge, you could almost imagine sitting with your legs dangling off the side of a cloud. A magnificent patchwork of blooming green, sliding grey and frozen white as far as squinting eyes could see. Opposite and competing for the jaw gaping view, Lake Luzern painted far below, with Luzern city and the many villages hugging its shores. As another ensemble of Alp horns and old time yodelers evoked images of long mountain treks and breathing in pure 2132m Swiss air, it wasn’t long before the gnawing emptiness in our stomachs awoke the need to fuel up with a hearty buffet.
Not to be outdone, we descended the mountain in alarming style, gripped by the white fingered title, “steepest railway in the world”. The Cogwheel railway consists of single carriages inching slowly down a 48% gradient. Our wide eyes, reflecting alarming images of lines breaking, brakes failing and wheels flying off as we screech and plummet to our impending deaths; an enthralling pantomime for children looking skywards as parents shield their own faces in horror.
